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The Relationship Break

# 1  12/22/13 4:32 PM

I will try not to make this too long...been seeing a guy for about 9 months.  We got along great, he's nice, honest, sincere and I do trust him.  I am very independent and not clingy.  He is separated as his wife cheated on him more than once and is currently living with her BF.  He is home with two daughters.
Two months ago he decided it was time to start the divorce with his ex, she plays mind games with him.  She will call him when her and BF fight and apologize for all she's done and feels bad.  They have been separated for close to two years.
Two months ago he has asked to take a break while he sorts all this out.  Says he needs to concentrate on the divorce. I was blindsided but agreed.  Its been really hard though, I'm a mess; been divorced for 8 years and started dating again a couple years ago and its not been a great experience..I'm 49.  This was the longest relationship since by divorce.

I asked if this was a break or break up - he said break until he sorts things out.
After a month I texted him and we chatted for a bit. I said I missed him and he said he thinks about me too.   I asked if he wanted to stay in contact and he said we can but I have not heard from him since and I'm not contacting him.
I'm not sure why I can't seem to get over him.

From a man's perspective, looking for opinions on how you think - if it's a permanent break up why not just say so?  Calling it a break and then having no contact is not fair as it leaves things too open for the mind to go crazy. 
Would it seem reasonable that he would want to take a break while sorting things out and doesn't want to burden me with his stress - he has been really really stressed over this and he said he doesn't want me to get mad at him because he's so stressed and not good company.
Its the no contact that is really bothering me..not even a text every once in a while to say hi....
Thanks for letting me vent.


# 2  12/23/13 12:49 AM

i feel sorry for u hunni, most men want to have their cake an eat it, but there are the minority who do appreciate the female gender, although very few, but this guy, can't make up his mind obviously, hold ur head high ur better than that, an i'm sure there's some1 out there for you, so chin up, your much better than that, keep truckin on x

# 3  12/24/13 7:11 AM

Hi there, i would say leave him. He is not done with his ex, since he rather spend time with his ex than you.
I think you will be more hurt if you stay, he is no better than his ex.

# 4  11/22/14 7:36 PM


Sounds like he doesn't want to hurt you but it is obviously over.Some men don't want to be mean and feel that it would be easier for both if you split without the big in depth conversation.Sorry if this sounds cold.If you were to stay with him you would would get wrapped up in a silly square of you him bf and ex.     good luck dating