Already a Member?

Do You Wish The Worst For Your Ex?

# 51  7/24/13 2:04 AM

3

Do I hate my X? Ofcourse not but I hate what she has been doing by dumping me into  the pit where disorted thinking, confusions, conflicts, lonely, and anger ect..has the great impact in my mind. However, I do forgive her and let her do what she thinks right, therefore, I  manage to control my anger as I understand that many people see things differently in this world, eventhough those who loves and care for you but still their understanding isn't the same to you.

So be your self, live your life as you are and  be realisstic to your self. Never bow down to any issues that've come across your way they're just like pot-holes to the road of success, gone through them and look for solutions to correct the error and move on.

Lastly, there are many fish in the river...

# 52  8/16/13 1:43 PM

2

Love/Hate are opposite ends of the same emotion, do i hate my X , yes but i also still love her
after nearly 14 years and 2 kids,
When I met my X I was quite a handsome man, good body, own house, car, motorbike etc with plenty of female admirers
she was average looking but a well known slapper, but I saw something in her I liked and took the risk, we had a Son and got married, but I started to get ill after about 8-9 years, it was finally diagnosed as fibromyalgia, very painful and I put on weight, then I had a heart attack a week after our second son was born, told I was diabetic, I got depressed but she told me she didn't fancy me any more, for the next 5 years I tried to leave her but she swore that she loved me with all her heart, on Facebook she was telling the world about her having the best husband in the world, I gave her everything she wanted and loved her completely and the week before she left she promised me she would never leave me and loved me. The next day she walked out on me and our 12yo son, I was quite ill at the time, she hated me and hadn't loved me for at least 3 years she said ? soon she was sleeping around, using dating sites to find 1 night stands I read her emails (she used my email account)) and had to see the dirty talk, it crucified me like nothing iv'e ever known, she then gave me 10 weeks before i would crack up, end up in hospital or even dead, she even went to my old mum for money and all the time taunting me, showing up everywhere, she even got a house 1000 yds away from me, she showed so much hatred towards me especially when i got a divorce on grounds of multiple adultery, she bragged about having a 21yo guy, she was 41, so tell me who would not wish something bad on a person like this, after giving everything, all because I lost my fit body and got depressed and ill ? yes I want her to feel my pain, she made sure by sleeping with so many men i would never take her back so i just have to go through the pain until I'm fully healed, i will get there, I'm strong and don't give in,my friends say I look 41 not 51 and still ride my bike etc I'm young at heart and live for my boys, but i hope someone breaks her heart one day

# 53  8/23/13 12:18 PM

1

only today i went through my call off with my ex, we will no longer talk as much as we did because we are both healing from all that's happened.

# 54  8/27/13 5:23 PM

1

I suffered for love all my life! In fact I think there is no other pain but love. The longing to find yourself into a stranger's eyes; the taste, the smell and the feeling of not been alone........Believe it or not my wildest dream is to meet my real soul mate! I thought I did but.........I have so much inside me.......Just knock and I will answer!  I need love [Your post has been edited. Contact details are not allowed in the forum. Moderator]

# 55  9/5/13 2:22 PM

244

Ihope my ex gets the same treatment & trouble he gave me… Only because I’d laugh at it!!!

# 56  9/14/13 8:57 AM

1

Babsay wrote:

I think it is natural to wish your Ex the worst initially because thats all part of the healing process.  Rememer, the breakup of any relationship is almost like greaving.  There are many emotions; anger,hate,resentment,love.   Your friend needs to go through all the initial emotions after the breakup in order for her to come to terms.  I'm having the same issues my self at the moment and I just hate my Ex and wish him nothing but the worst but I know inside me, I will eventually rise above these feelings and bounce back.  Hope this helps.

You coulding have said it better you are number 1

# 57  11/3/13 1:17 AM

2

What is the point of holding on to resentment and anger..It only effects you at the end of the day.  I wish my ex well and forgive him despite the turbulence.  Everyone in our lives are our teachers and if it wasn't for the bad experiences with him I wouldn't have what I have now which is the greatest gift.

# 58  11/16/13 2:37 PM

1

felli23325 wrote:

My x left me 14 wks pregnant in Feb.We'd started trying for a baby in oct last year,he asked me to marry him last xmas and i said yes.It turned out that i'd forced him into having a baby and for him to ask me to marry him,or so he said.I lost the baby shortly after and he's never been in touch.he was 10yrs younger (30).he broke my heart and my two daughters who looked on him as their dad,even his family abandoned us,so yes i hate him but i still love him too.he's now in another relationship with a 40 something divorcee with a child.i've tried to move on but i cant get him out of my head.

This story iv read is very close to my experience but I did not marry but  I did have a little boy who now is 3 yrs. my ex walked out on me though no reason just gossip from other sources...I learnt that .... as I did not pay my 50/50 on rent and bills like I did before  but seems he  forget I had OUR child at 40 and already with a 16yr and 13yr old children I made a commitment to a  journey that I had already visited as this was new for him his first child but I  have had an ending unexplained and HATE yes I do, near on to a year now from the walk out  I still Hate... to learn after a near on 6 yr. relationship 3 months after the walkout he was on his 3RD sleeping partner ....

# 59  11/26/13 5:34 AM

11

Why waste energy on something that is over?

# 60  12/24/13 11:35 AM

1

I wish i could hate him.   i am just incredibly sad.  My husband left me 3 weeks ago for a woman he had been having an affair with at work for the past 8 months to a year.  We did everything together.  He worked 2nd shift, i work 1st.  Every day we had lunch together, took long motorcycle trips all summer, spent every weekend together.  and the whole time he was with her.   I do not know how to get over him.. he still texts me every day, how is the cold?..  what his dog did... anything he can think of to talk to me.  but he says all we did was argue and he wants a divorce.  i am so lost and confused..   We had been together for 27 years, since we were both 19 years old.  Married for 20 years, he left 1 week before our 20th wedding anniversary.  i am devastated..
How do you get over this?

# 61  12/24/13 3:29 PM

2

I was fortunate to have watched first hand my parents, friends and family members experience divorce before I had to make the decision to end my marriage.  It sounds odd, to say fortunate, but I got to witness the best and the worst of divorce. I got to see the consequences of those that went before me.

I had two thoughts etched in my mind when the time came;
1) One of my parents was diplomatic, non confrontational, and never spoke ill of the ex.  In contrast, my other parent was vindictive,  argumentative and hurtful.  Which one was I going to be?

2) It can take up to half the length of the marriage to get it over a divorce.  It took my parents almost eight years of tension and stress to find a certain semblance of peace after the end of a 17 year marriage.  After 15 years they were able to attend the same birthday parties for their kids and grand kids.  Now 30 years later the entire family can get together and share the major holidays.

I didn't want to waste 6-10 years of my life hating someone that I used to love.  I wasn't willing to drag my kids through the same experiences I had in a broken home.  I wanted there to be more for my kids to enjoy and less pain and anger.
My ex didn't not have the same history with divorce as I did.  She only knew how to express anger in the process and wanted someone to dance with.  She tried to push my buttons, but I saw the underlining pain and the desire to have someone to blame.  I prayed a lot and tried to be empathetic.  I tried to avoid the obvious pitfalls and within months, she lost interest in fighting. 

We touch base weekly to update each other on the kids.  We coordinate our schedules and try to keep the 'kids interest' at heart.  It has paid dividends.  I can honestly say that we are getting back to being friends, which makes my life a lot less stressful.  It makes her life a lot less stressful, and most important, it makes the kids life less stressful.
I am fortunate that I was shown choices and consequences before I had to make my decision.

# 62  1/8/14 5:10 PM

2

I wish my EX well; right into Hell!

# 63  2/1/14 8:03 PM

5

No, never. he has prospered, I have not.

# 64  2/16/14 4:00 PM

1

I do not wish bad for him but i know that he has cheated on me and he will get the same soon.

# 65  2/28/14 4:52 AM

2

no i don't

# 66  4/1/14 3:36 PM

14

although at times we may feel like it..................I really do not wish the worst for anyone including him.  He needs prayers LOL

# 67  4/11/14 11:32 PM

1

[color=#FF00FF][/color] No I thought I would, but after a messy painful breakup and divorce we talked and forgave each other and I will always love him in my heart. Why??? He has passed away and that's it once they are gone they are  gone. A life is a life and be kind even id they are your EX wish em well and move on. Now I pray for mine

# 68  5/26/14 2:23 PM

1

first of all see youself then compare justice

# 69  5/28/14 5:52 PM

2

i think its only natural when you first break up with someone, I hated my ex for a long time and wished the worst for her, i don't hate her now, I don't even think about it anymore, it's life and it taught me a few things, though if i hear it all went wrong for her I might have a little smile to myself

# 70  6/11/14 1:34 AM

1

I love and wish the best for my ex and have hope deep down that we might be able to heal and evolve sufficiently to come back together one day. We were together 7 years from college to nearly 30 years old and our daughter is 2.5. However i am in the process of letting go and if the right person comes into my path i will not hold back to move forward in a different direction. We must be separate to let go of all the emotional baggage and memories of the fights and projected insecurities. If he dates i would not be surprised if he dated a younger woman because men need to feel empowered and potent in a relationship. In the case of our relationship i was the bread winner, following my dreams and manifesting my path. I bought our house...i was the extroverted/ alpha in the relationship. Although he was happy for my successes and was drawn to my confidence and strength, i am sure that every subsequent success i had made him insecure because he was not manifesting his own victories. If you are a strong successful woman and you split with your partner, know that if he dates younger/ less intelligent/ less successful women it may be because the man is trying to rebuild the confidence that he may have lost being by your side... and ADVICE FOR ALL WOMEN: DO WHATEVER  YOU CAN TO BUILD THE CONFIDENCE OF YOUR PARTNER. SUPPORT HIM. NEVER EVER NAG HIM. DO NOT SUGGEST HOW HE SHOULD DO THINGS. ONLY IF HE CLEARLY REQUESTS YOUR PERSPECTIVE ON HOW TO DO SOMETHING then offer it humbly. TELL HIM WITH LOVE THAT YOU KNOW HE WILL FIGURE IT OUT...THAT HE IS SMART THAT HE IS STRONG.

# 71  6/15/14 7:55 PM

1

I wish my ex all the best and he happiness he deserves.
Certainly, learned a lot from all those years years. Spending time wishing someone negativity is toxic to your own being and reality.
If didn't work out - you're only moments away from the companion you deserve

# 72  11/5/15 9:17 PM

1

i wish my ex good luck in her journey