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Do You Wish The Worst For Your Ex?

# 26  8/29/12 4:10 PM

1

Yes wishing worst after the breakdown is just normal. sometimes you just say and wish him bad to make yourself feel better after what happen on your relationship specially if that person hurt you. Time can only heal the pain and never get on with him afterwards, But forget that worst memory so you can open a new good one.

# 27  10/6/12 1:26 AM

2

I will sorry to say, will always hate my ex.He used the married woman(who works for him in his office), her name  on the mobile number to get messages from another married woman who was having an affiar with my ex, so he can answer the ph.while he was with me till I realized: who is this texting overnight, looked on the mobile;said can i be f------ .Just think of reading that!!! Well its a long unfaithfull ex's story, which I cut short.Went on for 12yrs.God I thought, what have I done to deserve this.I have been very hurt and used.But I now left thinking of him and moved on.God always have his way to punish these sort of people.Hope we all find someone trusting and loving and caring.Take care

# 28  10/9/12 9:11 PM

1

yes  i understand  men is only worry about  himself  and  get  what he  wants  I had  experience   recently relationship who I  was  with   he  was  be  very indepentant  to himself  and focus  to himself  and not thinking of his partner or  girlfriend  thats  so pathitic , thats not  show love  for  2 people into 1  but  he  thinking  what he  want to do , did nt  talking to patner/ gf  about  what to doing  for  the day  n tmw   nothing at all  just  what is the  time comes up  to see it  then do it  that s  so weird !!!!!!

# 29  10/18/12 4:20 AM

7

fabienne654 wrote:

Breaking up is never easy and there are lots of emotions involved (anger too). But just try to live your life and let your partner live his (or hers). Try to move on and fill the emptiness in your heart and soul with new activities, hobbies and maybe even new relationships

U r exactly right but what we do with our heart.Some time we leave some one but always some think click us on some special times.

# 30  10/27/12 10:09 PM

1

My x left me 14 wks pregnant in Feb.We'd started trying for a baby in oct last year,he asked me to marry him last xmas and i said yes.It turned out that i'd forced him into having a baby and for him to ask me to marry him,or so he said.I lost the baby shortly after and he's never been in touch.he was 10yrs younger (30).he broke my heart and my two daughters who looked on him as their dad,even his family abandoned us,so yes i hate him but i still love him too.he's now in another relationship with a 40 something divorcee with a child.i've tried to move on but i cant get him out of my head.

# 31  10/28/12 12:51 PM

20

This is a very strange one. There is no wrong or right to this but it does depend on how far you take it. Actually harming someone over hurt is not the answer or healthy.

When my wife left me for another guy and moved him in the day I moved out I hated her. I hated her with all my might but it wasn't her personally that I hated. It was what she done that I hated and what she kept doing to me after that. I lost everything. She kept all my clothes, personal belongings, records, cd's, dvd's, tools, shoes everything. She wouldnt let me have anything. And the worst bit is that she wouldnt let me see my son who is now 14. I havent seen him for two years and out of the relationship that is the only thing that really hurts me. I can't understand why she has done this. I have tried everything to see him but I never get anywhere and instead have threats from the police for harassment. The last time they called me I told them my address at work and to come and arrest me because if wanting to see my son is a crime so be it. They were prepared to come but for some reason the WPC understood why I would write him letters and so on. It is a twisted bitter thing to do and why parents use their kids as a heart stabbing tool I have no idea. The only thing that I can think of is that she does not want me to move on and be sad for the rest of my life. Well, i moved on a long time ago and that makes her rage even more. If she see's me on the street she screams out abuse at me calling me a see you next tuesday. My girlfriend at the time thought i was stretching the truth about it but couldnt believe what she did to both of us on the street.

Ok, so that hurt but I don't hate her just what she does. Now my last relationship was so horrible that I just don't know what I feel for her. I still have feelings for her but I do have hate. What she done to me is far worse than what my ex wife has done to me.Mentally abused me, physically attacked me with pans while i was halfway down the stairs only to throw a microwave and knife block at me with the knives still in it. The mental torture that she wants a baby with me and because I had a vasectomy over 10 years ago she wanted me too reverse it. At the beginning I wanted a baby with her but  didn't feel we were ready as we were still fresh in the relationship. After a short period I kept getting accused of eyeing up other women and to make me jealous she would ring and tell me that she is surrounded by hot men and if she passed out at the gym she would be ok as the hunks will bring her back round. At first these things didnt bother me as I know it's a testing game but soon got fed up with it. When I told her that they hurt hearing things like that she accused me of being insecure and jealous. She even rang her ex special friend in front of me and flirting talking about meeting up for old times sake. There was so much that really messed up my head and after a while I started to believe that what she said was true. No one loves me and no one likes me. I have no friends and even my own kids hate my gut. I started to stay away from people and didnt socialise with my work mates. The final straw was setting up a holiday for us in Prague so that I would spend the week i n hospital to find out if we could have a baby. I couldnt believe it. She didn't even discuss it with me and then several times she told me that she needs to know if the op will work sothat she knows if we have a future or not. The last time i saw her was on my birthday when her daughter of 7 asked me why i wouldnt give mum a baby. I was cornered. yet again a gain believe that even her daughter was in control of our relationship. They both looked really angry at me and all this in front of her friends. So I asked in front of everyone "are you telling me that if I went through the op and all the pain, but yet we still couldn't have a baby for what ever reason we are over?" She said said yes I will find someone else. Then I asked and if they cant for what ever reason? She said I will find someone else. That really broke me down. How can someone be so hard and cold. In front of her friends I went to the bedroom, collected my clothes and all personal beloging including some furniture and walked out. Somehow I am the ass hole. For getting hurt and defending myself? Well if that makes me one so be it. I do hate her because I trusted her and gave everything, even took her daughter as my own and did everything for her.

So do we have reasons to hate our ex and want them to have bad luck? Sadly with good reason we do but we must remember that it makes us stronger in the long run. Sadly though, she didn't waste a moment and started dating in the same week. Her current guy has only been three months and they are already family planning. Oh dear lol

Omg this has taken it out of me. Feel much better now. But yes it is normal to feel anger and hate and wish your ex bad but like I said it all depends on how serious you were in the first place.

Good luck

# 32  11/3/12 1:31 AM

2

!!!!! 14 years with 1,, and thay way i look at it is !!!!   Life is to short to stress yourself with people who dont even deserve to be an issue in your life,,,So if shes dumb enough to walk away be smart enough to let her go,,,,And the people who hate you are just your confused admirers,,Thay can"t figure out the reason why everyone loves you,,,So just move on or it just gets harder,,,

# 33  11/3/12 1:44 AM

2

julie52938 wrote:

do i hate my ex HELL YEAH he was a nightmare for 11yrs do i hate my ex HELL NO he was wonderful for 9 months changed my life yes i love him n miss him like hell but afta 11yrs of hell with the first one he showed me there is light at the end of the tunnel il only eva feel gratitude

!!!!!! wow,,, i could of put my x with your x and thay would of been a awesome pair,,

# 34  11/6/12 6:39 PM

1

Babsay wrote:

I think it is natural to wish your Ex the worst initially because thats all part of the healing process.  Rememer, the breakup of any relationship is almost like greaving.  There are many emotions; anger,hate,resentment,love.   Your friend needs to go through all the initial emotions after the breakup in order for her to come to terms.  I'm having the same issues my self at the moment and I just hate my Ex and wish him nothing but the worst but I know inside me, I will eventually rise above these feelings and bounce back.  Hope this helps.

I don't agree with you, I am going through this at the moment, I think disappointment in your partner is more the thing, I never knew that my ex could like you hold onto this sort of anger and I wasn't the one to break it up, I cannot get my head around the fact after 18 yrs of being together that my ex could behave in this way, I have 2 young children which I am not allowed to see, its been nearly 6 months!!! I am having to go through the courts to get access,  its heartbeakin!! It seems to be a women thing to hold onto this so called anger, men just get on with it,  we can't afford to get into this anger thing, it dosn't do anyone any good, especially the kids!
hope this helps from a mans point of veiw!!. Mark

# 35  11/8/12 3:07 PM

224

No i don't hate her i forgive her. i was angry for a while but then i realised someone hurt her much worse. that's why she is that way. i wish her happiness & hope she manages to get over what happened to her because she is letting them ruin her life.

# 36  11/15/12 2:40 AM

24

{  Hate  }


Hate is the second strongest word you can speak.
Hate is only surpassed by love.
Hate never did anyone any good.
Hate makes blind who used to see clear.
Hate deafens who used to hear perfectly well.
Hate is not the opposite of love, indifference is.
Hate share it's spot in your soul with love.
Hate is the love that lingers, and won’t go away, turned bad.
Hate is just a selfish soul eating state of mind that you choose to put yourself in, in a futile attempt to drown your hurt.
Hate is evil; hate is the fast lane to hell, paved with innocent souls.

Hate is not justified by anything.
Hate is a natural human feeling.

The mostly women, (statistical), and men that throw out their spouse, and then use the kids to hurt him/her should be charged with child abuse. Even when a relationship comes to a clearly 'justified' end. Hate do no good, and have no place.


Last Monday, my doctor sent me on a 'holiday' in sanatorium. Burned out, broken down, shattered, exhausted, incapable of fighting my battles. Last Wednesday, my dear loving wife through thick and thin for 17 years. That gave me the two most prefect kids in the world. 2 kids that love and adore their father, as I do them. Told me I no longer had a home. No longer had a wife. No longer was allowed to be a father. I could not break down. But my heart could. And the last little bit of fighting spirit could. I did not even have the strength to cry. I could easily have torn the place apart with my bare hands. But I could not cry. I struggled with breathing, but blamed it on my asthma. I could not let her see the hurt.

As SADE put it:

-------
There's nothing sacred.
Breathing hatred.
We have to face it.
No-one can take it.
And feel no pain Ohh, did you ever see a man break down?
-------

Hate would not do me any good.
Hate would not do her any good, and through her
-hate would not do the innocent kids any good.

I decided to forgive, but not forget.
I decided that a failure would not harm me.
I decided to try, to my best effort, to make the best out of nothing.

I was in a strange place. My inside was a raging, lava gushing turmoil. My outside was calm as the sea in a still.
My mind was clear as fresh water. I HAD to turn her there and then. Or the chance would be forever gone.
Helped (probably more then I know) by the place I was in. She could not have a tantrum, throw a hissy fit.
She would have been restrained before she even had started. I told her that I respected her choice. That I forgive her.
Told her that I understand that she had to do what she felt was right. I supported her in kicking me when i was down, in slashing of my hands when I tried to pull myself up. I told her it was ok.

And I won. The battle, not the war.

I felt deep and warm hatred, I felt despair, bitterness, hopelessness. I was 'on the street'. No home. No roof over my head.
I would not get to hug my kids when I came home from work, not hug them goodnight, not hug them good morning. Not follow them to any activities, blow on the odd hurt knee. hear that infectious laughter. I did not have a dime to my name. I moved a long distance when we married. The friends and family here are hers.

What good would hate do me?
What good would despair do me?
What good would bitterness do me?
What good would hopelessness do me?
What good would these do my kids?

Nothing.

Back to SADE
-----
Help them to strive.
Help them to move on.
Help them to have some future.
Help them to live long.
Help them to live life.
Help them to smile.
Don't let them stay home and listen to the blues.
-----

By doing this, I got her to accept me in the house till January. I managed to be permitted to stay in my study, sleep on mu couch, hug my kids, blow away that odd hurt knee. And to bear them gifts for xmas. I still have a roof over my head, till January 8th. -My birthday.  I got her to promise that we would work an agreement about the kids, WITH the kids. So that they take as little strain as possible. I might even get a decent alimony. There are a fighting chance I can take my tools and my motorbike. As of now.

So yes, I won the battle, the war still remains.

Hate did not do this.
Reason and love did. Love for the children, reason for their best. By some strange situation, I managed to sooth the hearts. I managed to keep hate from pushing the love out. Hold the indifference away. So there is hope around the corner.

Hope is good.
Hope does good.
Hope, love, good, hate, evil. They are all four-letter words. YOU choose which you cherish and nurture.

I got lucky, I managed to hold on to another four-letter word; calm. And by doing so, I managed to take away so much pain.
I managed to shield the two innocent victims from the havoc that was impending.

Am I proud of myself? H**l yeah. Would hate have accomplished this? H**l no.
Am I humble for whatever force that helped me through this? Yes.

Just my 2 cents.
(since men don't have thoughts (ref a girl another place on this forum))


Please excuse the spelling, grammar, and punctuation errors. English is not my mother tounge.

# 37  12/7/12 9:57 PM

4

I think it depends on the circumstances of the break up . I left my ex husband and I really don't know what I ever saw in him . He was never great with me and always put himself first yet lands on his  feet  every time , I actually hate the sight of him and avoid him as much as possible , but we share a son .

My ex boyfriend dumped me when he got diagnosed with cancer !  I love him still and only want what's best for him ,  I was very angry with him at the time but I could never hate him .

# 38  12/13/12 8:43 AM

1

Hello
Currently, in this society, people do not know what they want and change person as easily as changing dishwasher or car. But life, love, tenderness, passion is not something similar to cars or lava tableware. When we do not know what you want,'re better left alone to suffer and make others suffer, unless you like suffering BDSM. This is ridiculous!

# 39  12/26/12 7:03 PM

1

I think my boyfriend broke up with me because i wasnt chasing after him anymore, im not his mum and i am certainly no door mat.

# 40  1/5/13 9:18 PM

2

At first I was angry and bitter but now after a few months I actually pity my ex - she suffered from narcissistic personality disorder and I was trying to fix the unfixable

# 41  1/8/13 5:21 AM

6

fabienne654 wrote:

Breaking up is never easy and there are lots of emotions involved (anger too). But just try to live your life and let your partner live his (or hers). Try to move on and fill the emptiness in your heart and soul with new activities, hobbies and maybe even new relationships

This is hard to do when you raise there children and make your life around them but yes i do believe it is time for the future now as it has eaten me up to near death i am going to try but not sure if i have the strength to go on now so if not good bye cruel world

# 42  1/9/13 3:39 AM

6

I never wish the worst for my EXes, since I still communicate with couple of them, since I am relocated and sometimes need to ask to do something in my previous country of living.

# 43  4/4/13 6:55 PM

3

felli23325 wrote:

My x left me 14 wks pregnant in Feb.We'd started trying for a baby in oct last year,he asked me to marry him last xmas and i said yes.It turned out that i'd forced him into having a baby and for him to ask me to marry him,or so he said.I lost the baby shortly after and he's never been in touch.he was 10yrs younger (30).he broke my heart and my two daughters who looked on him as their dad,even his family abandoned us,so yes i hate him but i still love him too.he's now in another relationship with a 40 something divorcee with a child.i've tried to move on but i cant get him out of my head.

I do very much understand and sympathise with all you hurt people. I just wishes I had been at least ten years younger so It would be  easier to start over. I am 71, my husband of 27 years dumped me for a 37 year old Thai woman. I too went through the gauntlet of emotions. It is now almost a year ago, I still love him, have forgiven him, but find it very hard to look for someone else. The pain does become less over time. All the best to you all.

# 44  4/4/13 11:11 PM

1263

i am sorry that  happened,,,,,,,,but it maybe a solase.she will rip him off,he will be sending money back to her family..she will boss him around,,and after a while he will feel like a piece of dirt,,,,,he will be the loser.........i hope things get better soon,,

# 45  4/9/13 9:49 AM

8

HEY, I THOUGHT I'M THE ONLY ONE.  BUT I KNOW YOU GUYS MAYBE MOVED ON, IM STUPID ENOUGH STILL SEEING MY X BF I DONT KNOW WHY I LOVED HIM SO MUCH. NO MATTER WHAT. HE GOT A MOTORCYCLE ACCIDENT I WAS THERE FOR HIM. I JUST PRAY ONE DAY HE WILL WAKE UP LOVING ME. BUT I THINK NO MIRACLE. HE ALWAYS CORRECTS MY ENGLISH. WHICH I KNOW ITS NOT BAD, I JUST STUMBLED FOR WORDS. HE IS DUTCH IM AN ASIAN. I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH HIM EVEN HE HAVE A PREVIOUS GF WHEN I SAW HIM AGAIN. I HAVE CHOSEN THIS. NOW I KNOW HE IS STILL SEARCHING FOR ANOTHER WOMAN ONLINE. IT HURTS BUT  ITS MY CHOICE TO STICK WITH HIM. IM ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE HIM. EVEN IT HURTS ME A LOT WE ARE JUST COMPANYING EACH OTHER.

# 46  4/9/13 10:24 AM

450

Like you your english is beautiful,Prettynice.
As for your Dutch boyfriend ,well,he must be a frightful boer.

# 47  4/23/13 10:43 AM

1

my ex lied to me from day 1, i moved cities to be close to her,  gave my whole life up, my house, furniture, family, even my dog who i had for 3 yrs since a puppy. all was great til she kept goin out the rm for fone calls, constantly txtin, lyin, the day we split up she txt me tellin me she loved me i txt her back sayin i loved her too then she txt back dumpin me. to this day she wont tell me why.  we never argued once never even disagreed on anythin. i gave her all she wanted/asked for, never refused her a thing. she never went without. her granddad told me she was sleepin around an wen confronted she denied it.  i hate her for the way she treated me, hate her so much i wud quite happily stamp all over her head, but on the other hand i still in love with her even to this day an we been split for nearly two yrs i know i shud be well over her an moved on but how can i do so wen i have no idea what i done wrong an cant get answers. she has left me with no confidence in meetin other woman.

# 48  5/25/13 10:28 PM

1

I dont no i anyone will get to see this.. It was something like do i hate my partner..
Never i miss her so much.. She past away in 2005 i was with her for 17years..
and i have never been with anyone eles.. And shes gone 7years now and
I still haveing meet a women not even a hug.. Or even a cup o tea with
a women would be nice.. But you have to upgraed just to send a message

# 49  6/7/13 9:59 PM

2

My ex hum
I don't hate him, I force myself to do not hate him, even if he makes me suffer a lot, he lied to me since the first day, I thought him honnest and in love with me, but he just needed me, he didn't care of me at all, I felt so alone before breaking up with him, I lost my self confidence and felt guilty because of the big love I had to him. I still love him, and I'm angry by myself for that but I don't want to be back with him even if he tryed to, I just have to be strong to resist to his assaults, and accept that he didn't love me, so I need a real man not a boy like him !!!!

# 50  7/3/13 11:23 AM

4

I have no problem with my Exs, the relationships ended because we aren't right for each other. And I'm ok with that.
Except the one who I walked in on having sex with one of my friends, I wish the worst for both of them.