Moving in together

Let’s be honest, this isn’t a decision to be taken lightly. There are so many things to consider when thinking about moving in with your partner. Along with asking your friends and family for advice you’ll read countless articles about how long to wait (there isn’t a formula for length of relationship multiplied by % of love = move in date), if you’re right for each other, sharing your personal space, learning about his bad habits, who should do the dishes, the pros and cons of living together and so on – the advice is endless.

One huge topic that, amongst all the excitement and planning, is often overlooked or not discussed enough, is money. If finances are not discussed beforehand they can put huge amounts of stress on your relationship.

Once you both feel ready to move in together you need to follow the following steps before even packing a single box.

Talk about money

It’s not something that many people talk about; it’s often seen as private but when you’re planning on living with someone you both need to know about each other’s finances. This includes your attitudes towards money and what your financial priorities are. Be honest with your partner about your spending habits and remember to talk about savings too. You’ll need to go over the specific costs for where you plan to live. This will mean having to tell each other what you earn and deciding how you’re going to split the out goings. The most straightforward option is a 50/50 split but this might not be feasible if one of you earns far less.

You also need to be honest with each other about what you’re willing to pay. No-one wants to pay half of expenses that they don’t actually want or use. If one of you wants satellite TV and broadband and the other doesn’t, say so at the start. You don't want to resent your partner because you ended up paying for something you didn't use or think was fair.

Keep your finances seperate

When it comes to controlling your personal finances, you should hold the reins. It’s best not to have joint accounts or joint credit cards as one bad move by your partner could damage your credit report. Although no-one wants to think that things may not work out, you do have to protect yourself and if you were to break up it’s best that your partner doesn’t have access to any of your bank accounts.

Having a separate account also makes it easier for you to spend money on your partner as a surprise for birthdays or Christmas and also means you won’t see in advance what gifts you’re getting!

Keep major purchases seperate and documented

As an unmarried couple living together you don't have the same legal protections as married couples in case of a break up. It’s important therefore to keep a record of who paid what towards every major purchase (even if this is just writing a note on the back of each receipt and filing them). As and when you buy items for your place (the expensive items like TV, washing machine etc), it’s a good idea to either go halves on the cost or take it in turns to buy them. If you do part ways it will be easy to divide the belongings between you if you know what you paid for. For the items that you shared the cost for you can either mutually decide who should keep them or sell them and share the profits.

Be smart about housing

If you decide to rent a property together, both of you should put yours names on the lease. That won't keep the landlord off your back if your partner doesn't pay, but if you end up in small-claims court you'll stand a better chance of winning if their name appears on the lease. You should also, where possible sign as short a lease as possible (6 months).

It’s best not to consider buying a home together until you have at least rented together for a while. If you can afford it, it may be easier to buy a home yourself and charge your partner rent to put towards mortgage payments. This way, there is no confusion about who owns the home.

If you both currently own your own properties, and you are the one moving into your partner’s home, it may be sensible to rent out your home rather than sell it. This way you’ll have an income and some security if you realise you can’t live together.

Put it in writing

I know this sounds very official but it’s a great piece of advice. At the start of a relationship you never think things will go sour but it’s better to be safe than sorry, and for this reason you should both sign a cohabitation agreement which will protect you both financially if you do break up. To find out more about these agreements go to www.direct.gov.uk.

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