Should you date your best friend?

Having a best friend is an essential part of life. Someone that has the same interests as you, that you enjoy being around and that you can talk to about anything. It's someone you do everything with. You have the same taste in music and films, you both love Mexican food and you have the same sense of humour. No doubt you speak to each other at least three times a day - they're the one person that truly understands you. It's a special relationship but what if your feelings grow and you want to be more than just friends?

There's a lot to consider when you decide whether or not to admit your feelings and say out loud that you want to date them. You probably never thought this could happen and then wham!, it hits you that this person means a lot to you and you're slowly falling in love with them. You begin to wonder if he could feel the same way about you? Should you reveal your feelings? You know that once you've said it out loud there will be no turning back.

You should begin by assessing whether you should take things further. Follow these basic steps:

• Begin by evaluating how serious your feelings are about him and how long have you felt this way?
• Ask yourself why you are feeling this way now? Has he lost weight? Did he just get a girlfriend? Don't confuse jealousy of someone or something else that's taking his time from you as real feelings.
• Ideally if you could talk to someone else that has dated their best friend you could ask about their experience (finding someone may be difficult though)
• Take a few days to think about your feelings toward him and to evaluate whether you think he may feel the same way too.
• List the pros and cons of revealing your feelings to your him.

This situation is a difficult one for anyone in these circumstances. Each friendship will be unique and only you will know the true advantages and disadvantages of taking things to another level. Below are some basic pros and cons to consider that apply for most people.

Pros

• You know him very well. You like his personality: you already know he's smart, how his moodswings work, what makes him happy, and when to steer clear of him. You know him inside out and still like him!
• You get along and have a great time together: you have common interests and even when there's nothing to say, you share comfortable silences.
• You know his friends and family, and he knows yours and you all get on great.

Cons

• You already know what he likes and how to please him - this can be seen as a negative as this is often the fun, learning part of a new relationship. Skipping this chapter as a dating couple may alter the process and not work in your favour.
• You're taking a big risk: you have a lot to lose in the way of friendship if he doesn't feel the same. What if it ruins everything? - you can't imagine him not being a part of your life.
• You may not be compatible in every area - being best friends with someone doesn't mean you will be compatible intimately. You'd also lose the one person who anxiously listens to your complaints about loser dates. Who are you going to complain to about him?

Once you've weighed up the pros and cons only you can decide what to do next. I'm sure you're well aware that there are huge risks involved by confessing and it's hard to know what to do. If you choose to keep quiet about your new feelings it will mean being dishonest which could in itself be harmful to your friendship. On the other hand you could go for it and all of the risks could be worth it.

If the two of you are as close as you think, revealing your feelings may not cause more than temporary awkwardness if he doesn't have mutual feelings. Just remember that the greatest relationships grow from great friendships.