Should you date on the rebound?
'Rebound dating' is a relationship that begins immediately following the break up of a long-term relationship.
We all know the heart ache that follows a break up and we all deal with the emotions that follow in different ways and many choose to go straight into a new relationship but why, and is this the way forward?
After a relationship has ended, many people quickly turn to new relationships as a means of reestablishing a sense of feeling whole. The weight of the loneliness can drive you to look for instant companionship, even if the person is a poor match for you. Rebound relationships are complex due to the emotional void left from the break-up. Below, you'll discover why you shouldn't dive straight back in to being a couple and why waiting may be the best way to reignite your dating life.
Even though it's natural to feel needy and vulnerable after a break-up, jumping into a relationship to solve your loneliness is never the answer - not only for you but for the other person, as well. Establishing a healthy relationship requires each person to start the relationship because they want it, not because they need it.
Being alone can be healthy
Relationships form strong connections and bonds between partners. Often when in a relationship you can lose yourself and your individuality. After a break up you have an opportunity to regain that sense of who you are as a person. The time alone helps you to develop independence.
Spending time alone after a break-up also gives you the chance to reconnect with friends and family, and pursue things that are important to you. It's a great chance to spend time enjoying your hobbies that you may have set to one side during your relationship. Most importantly, the time alone provides an opportunity to gain closure about your break up so you can leave it in the past.
Fools rush in
Dating while you're on the rebound can be filled with pitfalls, especially when you haven't taken the time to think about your past relationship. When two people that have cared for each other end their relationship an emotional void is left behind. If you start dating while that void is still there, they won't just go away. Before long, they'll become part of your new relationship which in turn will suffer.
If you rush into a new relationship you don't give yourself time to evaluate why your previous relationship ended; to look inside yourself. You may need to address things such as personality issues, emotional neediness and dependability or you could find that these things just follow you to your new relationship causing problems again.
There is no calculation for how long you should leave it between relationships. Everyone has a different way of grieving and a different amount of time required to heal. Just remember that the longer the relationship was, the more time that is required. If you rush in and begin dating immediately, you run the risk of never healing or gaining that closure. You should know in yourself when you're ready for a new relationship. IN your mind you should have dealt with your past relationship and no longer have strong emotions about the person, break up or situation.
When children are a part of the equation, it is even more important to avoid rebound dating. It's confusing, and unfair to introduce your children to numerous partners. It's best to only involve your children with the relationships that mean a lot to you and this won't be the case with most rebound partners.
Also remember that your children may have been close to your previous partner and they too may need time to adjust to him or her not being around. Be there for them and give them time to talk about him/her and explain why you've moved on. Children, especially when they're young, may feel insecure when an adult figure leaves their life. Reassure them that you're there for them. They will share many of the feelings of loss that you feel and so be sure to consider their feelings in all of this.
Time is a great healer
Whoever said that time is a great healer was right. However cliché it sounds it's so true at the end of a relationship that meant a lot to you. Remember to take time after a break up so as to avoid rebound dating. Many people have a series of bad relationships, not because they are always victims or have a run of bad luck, but because they have not taken the time that they need to ground themselves and heal. In time, and once you have fully gotten over your break up, you'll be ready to move onto a new, and hopefully better relationship.