Dating in your 40s - back on the dating scene

Online dating for the mature people among us can seem daunting. You may be fooled into thinking that dating is just for young people but this certainly isn't the case. So many people over 40 are dating again due to reasons such as divorce and so you are not alone. Online dating gives you the opportunity to meet so many people that your busy lifestyle; juggling work, home and families, wouldn't allow you to otherwise.

Research shows that the over forties are just as romantic as they ever were and online dating can offer you the opportunity to meet someone special.

If it's been a long time since you last dated and you're anxious, don't be. A lot may have changed since you last dated and I'm sure you're a different person than you were back then. Being older and wiser is an advantage and even if you're not used to computers don't worry as online dating is so user friendly and what you don't know about technology you make up for in life experience which will help you find a date. Over the years you will have developed skills which can give you a huge advantage that many young people have yet to learn;

• Judging character and being able to 'read' someone
• Knowing what you want (and don't want) from a relationship and in a partner
• Knowing who you are and therefore what you need and want
• Responsibilities, such as children, remind you how serious this all is and have taught you to weigh your options and make the right decisions

Dating in your 40's may be more complicated than when you were young. Previous relationships, a divorce or children, weren't an issue before but although you may have to approach dating differently as a result it can still be enjoyable and rewarding. So what do you have to consider?

Your emotional baggage will affect how you approach new relationships. If you're been hurt in the past you'll naturally be cautious so take your time and don't rush into anything. Your family may not approve of you dating especially if you have children, and your children themselves may have trouble understanding. You need to explain that you need your own life and get them to see your point of view. Remember too that the people you meet may have similar obstacles to overcome so this will affect how you treat them. In contrast to how you probably dated when you were younger, your approach will probably be a practical, no-nonsense approach. Being open about what you're looking for in a relationship right from the word go will help you avoid wasting time.

Like you, potential dates will have life experience; you're going to meet all kinds of people. People you meet will have skeletons in the proverbial closet. If there is a recent ex, or difficult divorce still lying around then be wary but don't disregard a possible relationship. The best approach is just to be open and honest about your situation and feelings.

When you bear all of these things in mind it's clear that dating in your 40s is going to be very different from when you were young. This shouldn't put you off. Online dating will introduce you to so many new people and you'll get the chance to find out about people that you may not usually go for. You can learn a lot about someone just from their profile and so won't need to actually meet so many to find the right one. This will save you time, which is precious, and ensure that the people you choose to meet have the personality, interests and commitment that you are looking for in a partner.

Life begins at 40 and so can dating. If you've been off the scene for decades it can seems like an uphill task but it's like riding a bike - you never forget. And don't be worrying yourself about being hurt again, it may happen but you have to take that risk to find love.