Age Gap Relationships

Before you head into any long term relationship you need to be sure about how you feel and that you’re doing the right thing (for both of you). This is especially true with relationships that have large age gaps. A relationship with a substantial age gap could face more troubles than most and is less likely to last. Huge age differences can present a variety of problems as detailed below.

Unfortunately there are many stereotypes associated with age gap relationships. The older person is often perceived as being abnormal. People view age gap relationships as creepy, and often, if it’s the woman that is younger, the guy is viewed as a pervert.

If the woman does happen to be the older mate in the match, she is subjected to even more criticism, regardless of the fact that Hollywood stars such as Demi Moore have made such affairs more glamorous. Older women who date younger men are often labeled as cradle snatchers.

The younger partner can also be the subject of spiteful gossip. Many people believe that they are only in the relationship to get their partner’s money. People struggle to grasp the concept that a young person could actually love an individual considerably older than themselves. Anna Nicole Smith is notorious for being a money-grabber. Most people refuse to acknowledge that she may have loved her millionaire tycoon husband.

Another assumption people make about the younger person in age gap relationships is that they are looking for a parent in their partner. Other people sometimes presume they have psychological issues and are subconsciously trying to replace an absent or negligent mother or father. The phrase “sugar Daddy” is often used and is one of many labels that people are given when in an age gap relationship.

Unfortunately discrimination is not the only hurdle associated with age gap relationships. The older person in the relationship may feel insecure about their partner not finding them attractive later on when the signs of ageing become more apparent. They may even find they’ve outgrown activities and interests their partner still enjoys. At fifty you don’t always want to spend Saturday night out clubbing (especially if there’s a good programme on the telly!)

Another potential difficulty for the older partner is family. If one partner has already spent time raising a family, they may not want to do it again, and of course, the children you already have may not like the idea of you being with someone their age. If the woman is the older partner, she may want a family – ever aware of her ticking biological clock – sooner than her partner which can cause problems.

People entering an age gap relationship must also bear in mind that that the older partner will also slow down sexually as they age. It's easy to dismiss by claiming that sex is not that important, at least while your needs are still being met. But in truth sex is a very significant factor in any relationship, and those who go without may be inclined to stray from their partner.

Another factor to consider is the decline in health of the older partner as they age. The younger of the two may come to resent the responsibility of taking care of the older and even if they’re not resentful the younger partner needs to ensure they don't allow themselves to miss out on life experiences that their lover may no-longer be able to (or be interested) in doing.

If you’re considering entering an age gap relationship consider all of the points above but also get advice and support from the people who mean the most to you and discuss your feelings with your friends and family.

While support from your loved ones is important, don't dwell on every single remark you hear about the relationship — some people have nothing better to do than criticize. People connect with people of all sorts of ages for a variety of reasons. Don't think that you're supposed to be with someone your age. If you know the relationship is right then stick with it. Although there are pitfalls to age gap relationships, they can and do work in spite of the obstacles.